Its November 9, 2016....
I am jamming to my Gospel playlist.... its 1:40 am..... the election is over and hate has won.... My heart is heavy... I am in tears..... not over the election but in tears because yet another man has broken my heart.... I have lost count but at this point i am over relationships... What's the purpose... I dont want to give up... I'm a sucker for love... i guess i find it in the wrong places... I try TOOOOOo hard... i love too hard.... I cant beat myself up though... at the end of the day i am Niambi and this is just another episode in my neverending story,
i finally made the move to LOS ANGELES.... I DID IT.... ALLL THIS TALK... ALL MY DREAMS ETC... AND I AM FINALLY HERE....
I USE TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WISHING I COULD SMELL THE OCEAN IN THE AIR AND DRIVE DOWN HOLLYWOOD BLVD..... I MADE IT.. BUT WHY AM I FEELING SAD.... IM SAD BECAUSE I LET YET ANOTHER MALE IN MY LIFE WHO I THOUGHT WAS A GREAT GUY... blah blah blah..... funny thing is he says he loves me... thinks i am the best woman ever... he doesnt want to leave but is walking away from what we share.... im hurting because I cared for him deeply... i stayed by his side when he was attacked.... i spent a weekend in a hospital room, slept on a cot.... praying he didnt have a bad injury... praying he made it through surgery etc... i was a dedicated gf.... always made sure everything was great... dinner on the table... starbucks when he needed it etc... i was there when he needed to talk no matter the hour.... i feel like i did too much though.... some people dont appreciate efforts and sacrifices.... but when it comes to my needs etc... i seem to see a lack of response, negligence.. i can say we had more happy times rather than bad times but at the end of the day i am laying here in my bed typing on my macbook About this situation... i can go on and on but my head hurts...
work in the morning.......
