2016....LIFE UPDATE.....

Its November 9, 2016.... 

I am jamming to my Gospel playlist.... its 1:40 am..... the election is over and hate has won.... My heart is heavy... I am in tears..... not over the election but in tears because yet another man has broken my heart.... I have lost count but at this point i am over relationships... What's the purpose... I dont want to give up... I'm a sucker for love... i guess i find it in the wrong places... I try TOOOOOo hard... i love too hard.... I cant beat myself up though... at the end of the day i am Niambi and this is just another episode in my neverending story,

i finally made the move to LOS ANGELES.... I DID IT.... ALLL THIS TALK... ALL MY DREAMS ETC... AND I AM FINALLY HERE....

I USE TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WISHING I COULD SMELL THE OCEAN IN THE AIR AND DRIVE DOWN HOLLYWOOD BLVD..... I MADE IT.. BUT WHY AM I FEELING SAD.... IM SAD BECAUSE I LET YET ANOTHER MALE IN MY LIFE WHO I THOUGHT WAS A GREAT GUY...  blah blah blah..... funny thing is he says he loves me... thinks i am the best woman ever... he doesnt want to leave but is walking away from what we share.... im hurting because I cared for him deeply... i stayed by his side when he was attacked.... i spent a weekend in a hospital room, slept on a cot.... praying he didnt have a bad injury... praying he made it through surgery etc... i was a dedicated gf.... always made sure everything was great... dinner on the table... starbucks when he needed it etc... i was there when he needed to talk no matter the hour.... i feel like i did too much though.... some people dont appreciate efforts and sacrifices.... but when it comes to my needs etc... i seem to see a lack of response, negligence.. i can say we had more happy times rather than bad times but at the end of the day i am laying here in my bed typing on my macbook About this situation... i can go on and on but my head hurts...

work in the morning.......

WRITERS BLOCK

I FINALLY AM ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN!
I WENT THROUGH SOME SERIOUS WRITERS BLOCK!!!

PALLIATION THE MOVIE COMING SOON!!



palliationthemovie.com

Worrying

Worrying is my biggest enemy right now at this point in my life... Every year I say this is my year.... but none of those years have had any results.... I worried myself each day.. causing health issues with High blood pressure

The future...

I was asked today if I wanted to have kids because the individual thought I didnt want any since I dont have any yet and it made me think long and hard about my future... I always saw myself getting married in this grand multimillion dollar wedding etc.. but I always woke up before my future plans were put in motion.... in other words I never saw me having kids in the hospital etc... I have thought about this long and hard and I want to be successful more than wanting to start a family now... I am currently dating an older man who already has kids, currently a young adult female age 18 and an adolescent male child age 8. He thought his procreating days werre over and he had his mind set but when he met me he changed his tone... I always wanted to adopt, especially after I saw Antoine Fisher.... so now I am really thinking about my future... 30, NO KIDS AND NOT MARRIED..... WOW.... I have had a lot of things on my mind but Ill figure something out as I get closer to my bday!!!! TURN UP DIRTY 30!!!!

Niambi The Great Online Radio by Niambi The Great | Blog Talk Radio

Niambi The Great Online Radio by Niambi The Great | Blog Talk Radio

Love

I asked the question the other day .... What is love? I did an essay a few months ago when a guy I was dating asked me that very question... I found myself quizzed on the very essence that I lived to have... what is love?

Life is what we make it....

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I have decided to take my life back and do more for myself!!!! lets see how this goes!